


Let No Normal Death Do Them Part

by ivanolix



Category: Stargate: SG-1
Genre: Canon - TV, Established Relationship, F/M, Light-Hearted, Post-Canon, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-15
Updated: 2009-02-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivanolix/pseuds/ivanolix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vala thinks the Earth traditions for marriage are all fine and good...except when dealing with, well, their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let No Normal Death Do Them Part

“You rewrote our wedding vows?”  
“Not exactly. Rewrote has such connotations, Daniel, it’s more of...an addition. I just added a small astronaut.”  
“What? Oh, you mean asterix.”  
_  
I ____ take you ____ as my lawfully wedded spouse._

“Lawfully wedded on this planet, anyway.”  
_  
I promise to love, honor, and care for you with all my being. In war or peace, in sickness or health, in plenty or famine, and with you alone.  
_  
“That last clause is for...Daniel, help me out here?”  
“Oh, in case of cloning, identity theft, alternate versions, simulations, mind alterations, etceteras and so forth.”  
_  
I promise to devote my entire self to you until absolute final death* do us part.  
_  
“Ah, the asterix. Shall I jump to the fine print?”  
“Might as well—the rest is pretty dull.”  
_  
*Absolute final death. A death that is proven and verified using the following procedure._

_I. Body returned (DNA match is not sufficient). Space, rubble, and oceans should be no barriers to this clause, however:  
    A. If body is non-recoverable due to alleged disintegration or other removal from existence, five separate scientific judgments are required to declare the chances of survival at 0% or less.  
_  
“Vala, you do realize that zero percent...well, the lawyer can fix that later.”  
_  
        i. Two of those scientific judgments must come from Samantha Carter and Rodney Mckay.  
_  
“Never thought of that before, but yeah, that’s a valid idea. What about other realities or time travel or stasis, and there’s no chance of rescue?”  
“Read on, Daniel, sub-clause B.”  
_  
    B. If body is non-recoverable due to shifting to another dimension, timeline, reality, or plane of existence, special dispensation is allowed for spouse to be declared dead under these circumstances  
        i. The passage of six months of effort to retrieve said spouse, by either living spouse alone OR living spouse working with Stargate Command OR with other galactic ally, producing no change in possibility for recovery.  
        ii. Said spouse can only be retrieved through risking entire galaxy.  
_  
“That’s...wow.”  
“Too strict?”  
“What if I’m stuck in a timeline and send a message to you telling you that there’s no hope of rescue?”  
“Daniel, nothing, nothing, is going to stop me until those six months are up, and probably not even then.”  
“Even ascension?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Everything’s in order then. I was just going to leave these all as unspoken, but—”  
“But unspoken doesn’t work so well for Mitchell.”  
“Or the U.S. government, yeah...Vala, did you learn legalese from television?”  
“Where else?”  
“Mm, wouldn’t it have been nice to have a life where ‘til death do us part’ would suffice?”  
“I don’t know, Daniel...I think I prefer knowing you’ll come back to me always.”  
“Not even death can stop me—sounds a bit cheesy, but not bad, not bad at all.”  
“Well, now that we’ve got that straight, I think I’d like a little more of this unspoken love...”


End file.
